Motherhood and Daughters


The closeness between a mother’s  sense of her own “self,” and that of her daughter’s, is psychologically remarkable: one “self” flows into the other, often without awareness. This can be a daughter’s biggest strength, and a mother’s sustenance, but only when issues of control and anxiety are mastered.  Unfortunately, the mother-daughter relationship has been deeply misunderstood in this culture.

Mothers become aware of this relationship most acutely when it seems to be conflictual. A daughter’s judgment can hurt a mother more than any other, except perhaps that of her own mother.  Maintaining love, while generating respect for her role, is a necessary journey for the mother of a daughter. It is a mentoring journey that requires a deep examination of love itself.

Learning how to become my daughter’s role model has been one of the most fulfilling aspects of my own journey. It has taught me to lead with my strengths as a strong woman like nothing else has. Watching my daughter’s pride in her mother has been the sweet, deeply humbling reward.