A woman’s experience of Motherhood is a core part of her life journey. It has immense joys and rewards, and it also has extraordinary demands and challenges.  I believe that   helpful interactions with a mother must be supportive of her daily experience as a mother.  If this is not happening in a growth producing way, then the organizing principle of her life…feeling responsible for her children… is being ignored.

Motherhood is the single most important psychological shift in a woman’s identity after teenage, and part of her core self-judgment. Yet this is not commonly understood or acknowledged.  So mothers cope with the ever-changing demands upon them without any support or acknowledgement for their constant work, their emotions, their thoughts, or their daily experience. The work is invisible, and therefore lacks respect and value in society as real work. These are perfect conditions for the growth of anxiety, worry, fatigue, depression and a host of other issues that result from mind-body-soul stress.

This is unnecessary, and can be changed.  My specialization views Motherhood as a legitimate growth vehicle for a woman. It is based upon decades of study, direct clinical work, and personal experience. Motherhood is a perfect arena for a woman to center herself and grow into wisdom.  There is no better school of learning. But because it is not valued as such, we discount our own authentic journey, and do not even name it as a journey.  I believe that unless a mother is helped to manage her work of Motherhood, we are not addressing her core consuming issue.

It helps to reframe Motherhood as a personal growth journey over time, and to know there is lots of time.  This is a very particular journey as it depends so much upon how the children are faring.  Along the way, a mother must negotiate unsettling emotions about herself and her loved ones. Internal pressures to be a good mother can be just as strong as external ones. The pressure to be loving is just such a pressure.

The egotistical “I” of Western culture is often unable to understand the way a mother’s love plays out. It is so deeply different from romantic love. Gaining clarity about how to sustain her own capacity to love is the foundation of a mother’s growth.

Along the way, she will learn the limits of caring, and the necessity of stepping into her own power, while still holding her family in her heart. Self-blame, guilt, anxiety, and the desire to control the Universe for our children have been ancient emotions for mothers.  They are the result of deep responsibility and devotion to another, not diagnoses.
A mother’s growth includes learning how to reframe the work of love as real work, and to develop compassion for herself.  This results in feeling stronger in her capacity to manage her emotions and her daily challenges.  A mother then centers herself, and opens up to the deeper spiritual journey underneath it all.

Motherhood is an immersion experience.  A young soul is dipped into the most ancient journey known to humanity. It can emerge into deep wisdom.