Welcome to my web site. I am the mother of two children and a clinical psychologist with about 40 years of clinical experience. My practice specializes in helping mothers remain strong, centered, and successful, as we live our motherhood journey.

My clinical training is in Mind Body Medicine, or more simply, how the mind and body interact to protect our emotional and physical well-being. My doctoral dissertation (I read women’s autobiographies from the 14th century onward) was an investigation into the standards for the “ideal self” for women in cultures across the world.

What is considered “normal?” When do cultures call a woman irrational, selfish, emotional, crazy? And how do these societal expectations play out in the life of a mother? These learnings would save my life. They also defined my career.

This practice is based upon the reality that a mother’s wellbeing cannot be understood or supported without respect for her “mom work.”  This mom work is invisible and devalued in our society.  Cultural conversations about it often have some version of clueless disrespect: what does she do all day, why are you so emotional, or just the power differential between work that earns money and our work of love.

I believe that mothering within this paradox without awareness of it causes distress that is unsustainable: the paradox of dedicating every available ounce of our energy to work that is invisible and devalued, but still trying and trying and then trying some more to feel adequate, feel fulfilled, feel calm and strong, is unsustainable. The result is some version of ongoing emotional distress. Unsustainable conditions are just that; unsustainable. There are bound to be consequences. This can be hard to read.

It can be challenging to understand that it’s entirely possible we cannot  truly find peace and ongoing contentment unless we embark upon our own journey of deep personal growth. By slowly, one step at a time, increasing our ability to see that it’s not about “what’s wrong with me.”

Motherhood is the most important and joyous job in the world. However, as a mom myself, I’m willing to say what we all know to be true – “mom work” is not all fun, and it is not a “luxury.” It can be more emotionally and physically demanding than we could have ever imagined. This can become increasingly true as our children grow older, leave home, and we engage with the changing nature of our mom work.

Mom work, as I mentioned above, is invisible work. So – mom worry, mom anxiety, mom blues, mom guilt, and most especially mom anger and even rage, becomes a negative judgement of the mother’s “normalcy,” rather than what it truly is; mom reality. Not a diagnosis, not “what’s wrong with me,” not an inability to do the work. Just mom reality.

My life passion has been to help moms take this reality, the “mom job,” unsupported by respect, understanding or legitimacy, and transform it. The path of a mother into the deeply immersive and love-based care she provides to her children is the most ancient journey known to humankind.

A life journey of this magnitude will have obstacles, manageable ones as well as those that will overwhelm us. Together, I hope to help you find new ways towards deep growth, wisdom, and peace of mind.

This wisdom walk is jeweled with tools. I excel in creating new pathways, using a combination of research-based psychological strategies, a lifetime of clinical work experience, and solid intuition. Did you know that tinkering with those pesky late-night thoughts can lead to calmness and yes, even joy? And that the right time to shift into this intentional wisdom walk is when you decide it is?

Tiny steps become life changing processes. I put in tremendous effort towards coaching mothers to find steps that turn into skips, leaps, and occasional dance twirls. The North Star here is learning how to preserve our own humanity in a society severely confused about love, emotions, and the work of caring. Stargazing (and time to prioritize ourselves) helps! If we can imagine the life we want, new pathways will be found. 

Over the past four decades, I have specialized in working with mothers at all stages of their life journey. Supporting a mother as she navigates the particular inequities of her motherhood journey, be it power  arrangements in society based upon gender roles, the perception of her motherhood work if she is economically privileged, the implicit (sometimes explicit) erasure of her humanity upon the alter of selflessness, or, most importantly, her growth as she courageously seeks a path to her own power, have become the stuff of my passion. Ultimately, a mother’s  work needs to be seen as a necessary and powerfully contributing force.  While I understand that the word “power” can be distasteful to many of us, I have grown to respect what Caroline Myss stated: power is a reality in every interaction.

My clinical training has a meta mind body medicine focus. My work experience ranges from individual coaching and psychotherapy to group workshops, and speaking at conferences large (over a thousand women business leaders from all over the world) and small (a few mothers gathering in area libraries).  However, through it all I remain absolutely clear that the most important and meaningful work I do is in the one-to-one relationships with you, my clients.

 I want to emphasize that psychological research shows that liking your psychologist coach (that elusive search for a “good fit”) is up to seven times more likely to result in a successful outcome than any theoretical approach or methodology. So when you want to, we will chat for 90-120 minutes; this is called the “initial evaluation,” where we will decide if we are a good fit. Bring your hopes and strengths, along with all you wish you could change. I can’t wait to meet you. 

Thank you for visiting my website. 

Contact me 

Dr. Kumkum P. Malik, Psy.D.

If you are curious, check out the ‘My Story‘ and ‘Credentials‘ pages.